I struggle to find time to write lately. Now that I’ve re-found my passion for writing, that’s a problem. It’s not so easy to justify stealing time to write when Child is harping, “Mum, I’m still hungry.” and study books are sitting there silently singing out at me to ensure I feel guilt for ignoring them. In the evenings I dislike sinking so far into my worlds that I don’t hear hubby’s attempts at conversation. But while Child is at kindy I am overwhelmed by social engagements.
This is why I’m in awe at those like J. C. Hart, who writes, gets published!, and studies, mothers, and fulfills household duties, etc.
For me something (or more than one something) gets dumped. Normally what suffers most is housework, but that makes me moody cos everything ends up a mess and I can’t make a cup of tea without fighting for bench space. If I keep up with housework, then study time gets cut. If I focus on study, then the writing falls through the cracks.
No matter the attempt, the end result is always guilt.
Balance is something I’ve always struggled with. What’s the answer? Is there even an answer?
So often, ‘give up trying to write’, ends up being my answer, but then I’m always dissatisfied. No matter how much a suppress it, the desire is still there. Just let me sit down and lose myself in words! I guess that’s what makes me a writer even in those months I don’t manage to write anything.