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Category Archives: General

Short Life Update

If you’re one of those readers I like to imagine I have, that reads my blog but doesn’t keep up with my antics through any other avenue, then the fact that I’m now studying a diploma of counselling may come as a bit of a surprise.

But then I haven’t blogged in forever, so there’s a lot you’ve missed thanks to me falling back into the pit of what’s this life thing all about then, and what’s the point of it all?

In there I was made redundant. I lost direction. I slumped. I was finally forced to deal with the redundancy, and then I finally understood what I wanted to do with myself.

There was a lot of serendipity going on when I discovered that I wanted to be a counsellor. Hey, look over here at this campus that just opened at the other end of your suburb this year, you can study part-time, by correspondence, at your own pace, and StudyLink will even join the party to help out financially (as long as you pay it back later, of course, don’t get too excited).

So far I’ve completed 1 unit (passed with 86%!), and had 2 units cross-credited thanks to a uni paper I did. Win! The next unit is ‘due’ in 2 weeks so I can get the first practical assessment over and done with at the start of October.

Through various mental reprogramming techniques I’ve discovered, I’m going to dare to say I’m done with mental illness. Said techniques include EFT, but we’ve added a few other fun techniques to the process, and we (B~ and I) have kind of stream lined the process. I’m considering writing up the process we use and putting it on here somewhere. Then maybe others can have astounding results too.

Around study I’m also trying to get some writing stuff done. I want to re-publish Evacuation (I got stuck on the cover thing and never really went back), and I have another novella I’ve just started. It’s all good and exciting 😀

That’s how I am. How are you?

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Posted by on 05/09/2014 in General

 

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A Day of Freedom

For the first time since my son was born three years ago, I am occupying my house ALONE for a decent amount of time. It’s AMAZING. Sorry about the all caps going on, but that is seriously how awesome it is. My music is as loud as I want it, and is whatever I want to listen to. I’ve done housework without being constantly asked questions. I’ve sat and had a cup of tea without being climbed all over. And now I get to write without the TV going in the background in an effort to distract the non-stop toddler. See? Bliss!

Thank gods for kindergarten, and thanks to our government for the 20hrs funding which means we can let Jake go. He’s been ready for this for a year (funding kicks in at 3yrs and then there’s a waiting list at all the kindys in my area thanks to the quakes) and now we’re both ecstatic about him going.

I’m really crook, I have a cold that’s turned into a sinus infection that’s now affecting my ears and today I feel worse than I did yesterday (only physically, internally I am soooo much better, lighter, calmer).

Before me being sick, Jake was sick. And before that I was having a “what’s the point?” crisis. Hence the long time of no blogging.

But ‘times, they are a changing’. With Jake at kindy I have this new ‘free time’ thing going on. Yesterday I curled up in bed and read The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. Excellent book, I recommend it to everyone. I read a whole book and I hardly feel guilty for doing so. How exciting! My husband is about to venture into the world of ‘job searching’. He’s finally realised that the company he works for sucks: they take him for granted whilst treating him like shit despite him being amazing at his job. (Well, actually, he’s known that for ages, but he still liked what his job was, and then he suddenly realised he actually now hates his job along with being treated like shit, and the two together demands a job change.) Bit nervous about how that will go, but hoping it will go well and that we’ll still be able to pay rent. If worst comes to worst, I’m very employable so I can go get more work, but I’m really hoping I can focus on me for a bit first. After all, this is the first time since being diagnosed and medicated that I’ve had any kind of time to myself. That’s exciting, and a little scary: now I’ll see just how far I have come.

First focus for me: Getting my house sorted. It’s a nightmarish state, and I’m hosting a party here on Sunday. I wasn’t planning on being this sick when I organised it. Oh well. Whatever happens happens.

If I can be sick and still smile, then you can get some smiles out too. Go on. 😀

 
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Posted by on 18/06/2013 in General, Motherhood, Reading

 

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Going Camping in April

As I said this morning over on the Christchurch Writers’ Guild blog, I’ve taken on the Camp NaNoWriMo challenge.
Camp is just like normal NaNo. 50,000 words in 30 days. I’ll be working on my novel Entangled, which needs a good injection of plot.
I’ll also continue to work on the children’s novel I’m co-writing with Beaulah. It has pirates. What more do I need to say? 😉 But the words for that won’t count towards my 50k, mainly because it would be impossible to track how many of the words were even mine.
I don’t really have much else happening in April. My baby sister turns 20 on the 1st, so I feel super old! My toddler should be starting kindy in the next month or so, we just have to wait till we’re at the top of the waiting list. I’m still adjusting to the idea that he is 3! Did anyone see where the lat two years went?
I will be working Sundays down at The Make Cafe (dream job!), and hanging out there on Thursday evenings with the rest of the Pleasantville Community Club (so named as there is a sign hanging above our couches with that on so we have out own sign!)
I’ll also continue to make crafty things for Sweet F. Atkinson. Demand is higher than the time I have, which is great, but I feel like I don’t work on that ‘to do’ list often enough.
And, of course, it’s Easter! Yay, and all that. Dale did get Friday off work, which is awesome and he won’t have had work calls today, which is nice to know. I worked today, in the cafe rather than my normal spot in the shop, which has been full on and very educational. We did make some wicked awesome quiches 😀
I’m determined to not take on anything else! Ha, I was determined not to yesterday yet I still signed up to CampNaNoWriMo.
Keep smiling and stuff 😀

 
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Posted by on 31/03/2013 in Craft, General, Sweet F. Atkinson, Writing

 

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Me

My husband drew this last night. It’s me! Well, he drew it off a photo so technically it’s me, but he made me look way better than real life 😛

Pencil drawing of Fran, by Dale.

Pencil drawing of Fran, by Dale.

 
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Posted by on 25/02/2013 in General

 

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Putting Myself Out There

I’ve been meaning to post this all month 😛 Now to actually do it!

As my focus this year is to finish things, I then have to decide what to do with things that have been finished. I think one of the barriers between me and finished projects was just that dilemma. I’m writing a novel, but what will I do with it when I’m finished? Oh well, if I don’t finish it I don’t actually have to make that decision.

But I’m trying for a change in perspective. Rather than making that decision a burden, I’m trying to look at it as an opportunity. Awesome, it’s finished, what can I do with it now? (with a tone of excitement and enthusiasm, rather than one of heaviness).

I FINISHED my short story “Evacuation”, which was a huge achievement in itself. Then I went through a stage of thinking there was no way that something I had written would be worth recognition let alone publication. Then I decided that I wasn’t going to lose anything by submitting it, and in submitting I would learn something about the submission process (as I’d never submitted a story before (having never totally finished one before)).

I never ever expected it to be accepted.

Not because it’s not a good story, because it is a good story, that is, it would be, if it was written by someone else. But I had written it, so it wouldn’t, couldn’t, be good enough. How could it be worth anything when I was the one that created it?

When I got the acceptance email last weekend I almost died. I scanned it at first, to distance myself from the rejection, but then it didn’t say what I expected it to. Then I read it properly. And re-read it. And perused it. I bounced around the house. I called Dale in and told him. I bounced some more, and when I was sure that it was real I yelled about it on Facebook.

It still doesn’t feel real, and I’m not sure it will until I’m holding a book in my hands that has my name in it.

I finished something, put it out there, and I learned a valuable lesson, “Fran can produce something worth having”.

Choosing to put myself out there is something I’m trying to do with everything I create. People kept saying to me, “you should sell that,” or “sell your designs”. Finally I created a logo.

My Logo :D The "creates" at the bottom will be changed depending on what it's for.

My Logo 😀 The “creates” at the bottom will be changed depending on what it’s for.

I made a few things. I created a Facebook page. I’ve sold two headbands and someone wants the shrug I’m currently knitting enough to pay!

 

I also have a cross stitch piece I designed hanging at Make Cafe (as part of their ‘Love’ themed hoop art challenge), though that is not for sale.

For my husband on Valentine's Day

For my husband on Valentine’s Day

I’m a business!

I’m going to get things onto Felt at some point. I’ve listed things on TradeMe but had no luck. I’m hoping to sell some notebooks at a market next weekend. I’ve also been asked to run some crochet workshops.

People are praising my work, my ideas and my abilities.

It’s all a bit overwhelming, and my self-esteem is all confused; people’s support and admiration is going directly against my core self-belief of worthlessness.

I’ll be the first to say that it’s a stupid core belief, but that doesn’t make it go away. It takes much more evidence to convince me that it’s not true, and being convinced is only a transient thing. There’s always plenty of evidence to convince me that it is true and that I’m a waste of space and oxygen.

If it was easy, I wouldn’t be trying so hard!

Anyway, I’m getting published! And people are buying my stuff!

Didn’t see that coming 😛

 
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Posted by on 23/02/2013 in Craft, General, Writing

 

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