Structure is something my life has never really had. At least not my personally life. There’s been times when I was working full-time, and that forces structure into the majority of your life. But there’s still those hours in which you’re your own person in your own space and it’s much like a tornado in a teacup.
Being a “full-time” mum throws all structure out the window. It doesn’t matter how much people say ‘routine is the best thing for children’, ‘you must be consistent’, etc. it doesn’t change the fact that I’m ADHD. “Routine” may as well be in a foreign language to me. “Consistency” is a word I only use when I’m stirring cake mixture.
All is lost! It’s too hard, why bother.
Well, actually, I’ve passed that point in my thinking.
I have a couple of responsibilities out of the house now, which forces some structure into my life. But I’ve been trying, really trying hard, to get some control over my home.
Every ADHD person knows the chaos that takes over in their own home. Every naturally disorganised person knows what I’m talking about (you don’t have to have ADHD to cause chaos!) I just want to be able to get through a day where I don’t have to search through Mount Clean-Washing for two socks that match, twice (once for myself and once for my son), along with not having to wash every dish I want to use when I want to use it, and not have to dance between junk (toys mostly) strewn across the floor, and be able to sit at the table and eat a meal which I made in a clean kitchen without first having to shove piles out of the way. All on the same day!
Unfortunately it is all down to habits. Cleaning up isn’t ultimately the problem. Keeping it that way is the hard part! When your habit is to dump the washing on the couch and forget about it for a week, then remembering to fold it is hard.
And to be honest, the bad habits are often stronger than my willpower to overcome them.
Today I’m content knowing that at home my bench is clear of dishes. I even did the breakfast dishes before we rushed out the door late for Kindy. If only the floor was clear, the table was clear and the washing was in the drawers.
It is honestly really hard!
Part of my seeking structure has resulted in a new, craft only, blog. Here: http://sweetfatkinson.wordpress.com/
Check it out, and if you’re crafty at all, follow it 😉 it will make me smile! 🙂