Titles are the bane of my existance

01 Jun

I thought I would take a moment while Jake is still sleeping to blog a little. He hasn’t been sleeping well at all today. Between 8:30 and 4 I think he slept maybe a total of an hour here and there. So frustrating.

Went to Plunket. I’m doing a PEPE course for 6weeks to 1year. There were heaps of people there today compared to only 6 mums last week. It wasn’t fun. I didn’t feel like socialising and I’m the only one bottle feeding so when he decided he was hungry I felt really awkward. All the mums that were there last week understand why I gave up, but most of the women there today weren’t there last week, and while I’d like to think they weren’t judging me I still felt judged. Probably cos I still judge myself. I hate that I’m bottle feeding even though it’s so much better for both of us.

Anywho. Last week I got along really well with this chick Andi, so today I gave her my cell number so hopefully some kind of friendship can develop there, though I hardly got to speak to her today. I also got a text from one of the chicks that was at my anti-natal class this morning and we’re gonna catch up on Thurs at some point. I must remember to text her again and sort out a time and place. It’s nice to be finally making some friends here; it’s just so damned hard. I wonder if normal me that I don’t know is extroverted or introverted. I swing between the extremes, but was always told I was extroverted. But then I was also always told that I prefer things to be open to change and not set in stone, yet I actually prefer things to be fairly rigid and I hate being late and dislike people being late. One of the things I am having to examine is how much of how I am is actually me, and how much is me being what I was taught that I am. Does that even make sense?

I was perusing the forum over at KiwiWriters (I still haven’t made a decision re: to HalfNoC or not to HalfNoC, btw.) and found a link to this 750 words thing. I decided to give it a go as writing like that is just what I need and will no doubt provide some insight on my mind. We shall see how long it lasts.

And it’s June, already. That in itself is depressing. Officially winter. That I don’t mind so much, I prefer winter over summer, it’s just tricky when you have a baby and no car. Another couple of months and my brother can teach me to drive 🙂 .

Speaking of little brother, he’s coming round for dinner tonight. God knows what we’ll be eating as I have nothing organised. Time to ring hubby and put in a supermarket order I think.

And Jake’s still sleeping!!! Thank goodness.

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Posted by on 01/06/2010 in General


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