Fighting my way back

Yesterday wasn’t a bad day, per se, I was just really bad. Jake was wonderful, as always. Dale helped out heaps. And my little brother came round in the evening and bought us dinner Noodle Canteen, nomnomnom.

By the evening I had scrambled up from complete shit to just having a bad day. Not great, but better.

Jake slept for 11 hours last night. He went to bed at 9:15pm. Grumbled enough to wake me at 2am and 3am but neither time was convincing enough to get me out of bed, and then the next time he woke me it was past 8am! First thing I asked was if Dale had fed him last night, the second was whether I had fed him. Even I struggle to go 11 hours with no food! lol.

Today I’m feeling a little more level. Just chilling out. The weather has eased up, so we’re gonna get out of the house at some point . Should probably get some housework done too.

Good is just an illusion

I’m having a shit day. Not just shit, complete-ready to walk out-shit. It’s like someone took me to the top of a skyscraper to show me the view, let me enjoy it for a few days and gave the implication that I could live in the penthouse, and then pushed me out the window and is now laughing at me for being so fucking gullible.

And it sucks, hard. I’m angry at myself for letting it catch me off guard, and that anger is spilling over to angry at everyone around me, ie. hubby, and that’s making everything so much worse.

I hate life, seriously. Good is too good to be true.

3105 Words Later

and I have a first draft of what I think is actually only part of a bigger story. I think my character (who’s name is Daisy, which sucks, but she convinced me it works for her so I didn’t push the issue) has more to show me, and is just letting me have a bit of a breather before the next part.

I don’t much like the end. Not what happens, just how I’ve written it, plus it needs thorough editing, so I’ve still got plenty of work to do. If it needs a genre I think it would fit into the urban fantasy box, which is exciting cos I’ve never written urban fantasy before.

Who am I kidding? Every aspect of this story is exciting for me right now. It’s just leapt out of me, and adventure every step of writing what I have so far, and holds promise for more. What more could a writer want?

In other news, Jake is sleeping awesomely. He slept from 10:30pm til 7:30am, and is having a pretty sleepy day too. I have to brave the wind and rain to go up to the post office. I was hoping hubby would be home early from work, but no luck there, so I’ll have to take Jake out in the nasty weather too. The pushchair’s raincover is getting well used anyway.

I’m feeling good. Really really good. Level. It’s a little scary. I think I’m afraid of losing it. And of never getting to this point without meds. It’s opened up a lot of questions to ask my psychiatrist on Monday.