Unexpectedly Extensive Thoughts on Immunisations

This is quite a controversial topic, so just keep in mind that these are my opinions and I have the right to have them and you have the right to have your own.

I took Jake to get his 3 month immunisations today. A few weeks late because it took me a few weeks to make the phone call to book him in, and it didn’t help that the first time I finally made the call they stuck me on hold for longer than I was prepared to wait. It is hard to make an appointment to go and inflict pain on your child.

So why do it? I believe one of my friends isn’t, and there’s people in my online group intentionally putting it off until they believe their child is ready. With us there wasn’t even a conversation about it except for whether we were willing to pay to get the TB immunisation as well, but we weren’t, and if it wasn’t free perhaps we wouldn’t do it at all, but that’s an issue for a me in an alternate universe to contend with, not this me.

I read once (I can’t remember where) a compelling arguement that you are not only immunising for your child’s sake, but also for your community’s sake. If everyone was immunised then the threat would be eradicated, or something like that. But of course, when you’re inflicting this on someone that can’t understand what’s happening, can’t voice an opinion, and can’t see how a little pain now could protect them from greater pain or even death in the future, then you start questioning why you’re doing this and is it really the right decision.

My personal experiences with immunisations: I remember we got them at school, I don’t remember the pain. I remember I got the tetanus shot when I managed to hack my hand with a tomahawk, but again I don’t remember the pain part. So I don’t believe I’m harming Jake mentally by having him immunised.

When I was nineteen there was a big fuss over meningitis, and vaccinations became free for under 20s so I was nudged to go get it. Three injections were required. I thought, hey, it’s free, why not? The first shot near paralysed my left arm from pain, and I was working in a job that needed two hands. I couldn’t bring myself to get the other two injections; I had to work, and I didn’t see it as a real enough risk.

When I was in my third trimester I was offered the swine flu vaccination. Despite the real possible threat to my baby I weighed up the options and got it because it had the potential to protect him without him directly taking the pain. Not to mention I hate getting the flu, and if I can protect myself from a big one for free that’s gotta be good right. It didn’t really hurt that much either, though I couldn’t know the pain factor for the decision making part. And I believe it paid off. Hubby was really crook, Jake and I didn’t get it; I believe he had swine flu.

Of course there’s the miniscule risk that it could all go very badly. My cousin’s ex-flatmate is in a wheelchair because things went terribly wrong. But I believe there is greater risk in not getting them.

And then there is the people that opt to not get their children immunised (because it’s not mandatory here in NZ). Are they letting the whole country down? Some say they are, but I don’t believe so. If everyone was immunised then noone would get the illnesses and we would slip into a false sense of security: we’d come to believe the illnesses didn’t exist anymore. Odds are the immunisations stop being government funded. Then we’d get epidemics, or even pandemics, of old illnesses rather than new ones.

In NZ it would happen quickly. It happened in Palmy a few years back. Someone at Boys High contracted TB, suddenly the whole city was at risk, after all, if Boys High has it, so does Girls High, and it’s all two degrees of separation in NZ so really there was a potential of an epidemic. I was informed that TB wasn’t a major issue in NZ and so it’s not a government funded immunisation, but seriously, we have a possum problem, thus we have a TB problem (no offense Aussies, we love the possums that are in their own country )

And so immunisations come and go. The meningitis one they were pushing is now not included in general immunisations, but this year whooping cough is a predicted epidemic so it’s included. And around it goes. Basically, there needs to be people getting sick to make the government fork out the money to protect the population. Yes, I feel for the children that don’t get immunised and then get sick, but sadly it’s for the greater good.

More than that though, I feel for the nurses who have to stick needles in screaming babies. I only have to deal with Jake screaming, they have to do it all the time, they’re the ones inflicting the pain and every time they must also have that same fear we do: What if something goes wrong?

Taking Time Out To Appreciate My Life

I know we all know that hospitals are full of the sick, and that there’s people dying from everything you can imagine and everything you can’t every day.

But it’s not until one woman’s baby girl is in a coma that I pause and think, hang on a minute, look at all I have. It doesn’t seem like much most days, but actually, it’s a lot.

I have the love of a wonderful man; the kind of love you read about, write about, watch movies about and long for. I have a gorgeous boy who is healthy and happy and too smart for his own good. He sleeps amazing at night, and ok during the day. Sure, we still have issues when it comes to feeding time, but he will grow out of them (I hope).

And while I’m not particularly mentally stable, and I’ve been depressed for so long that I don’t even know if I have the capability to be happy, I am getting help and getting better and slowly accepting that if the drugs work I will probably be taking them for the rest of my life. I am physically healthy, and haven’t had a cold or flu since winter last year (wasn’t sick at all except morning sickness the whole time I was pregnant). I’m not super fit, but I’m not an unhealthy weight.

I also have somewhere warm to live, drinkable water that flows straight from a tap in the next room, enough to eat, and while it feels like never enough we do have enough money to cover everything we need and a few things we don’t.

I have friends and family that love me, and I know that if I ever ask for help people will be there for me. I also have the tools I need to do what I love to do, that is, write, read, knit and drink tea.

Take a moment out of your hectic life in which you probably take all you have for granted and just appreciate the little things you have. It only takes an instant for it to all be stripped away.

Big hugs for all the wonderful mums out there, especially the ones with sick little ones. xoxo

Priorities

My priorities list is a little askew at the moment, and I’m trying to get it straighted out. Writing has all but fallen off the bottom, which I’m not happy about. Jake’s needs, of course, will forever be at the top. But in middle there’s things that need rearranging, things that need removing (ie. playing Echo Bazaar, it’s just a time waster) and writing has to be nudged up so it comes before something like blogging . And maybe eating should go on the list.

I didn’t get any words on my HalfNoC written today, and only about 100 yesterday, so I’m about 2k behind, which is a lot out of 25k. I’ll try catch up, it’s too early in the month to give up, but I’m not going to get all worked up over it, I’ll just keep writing when I get time. At least the story is there in my mind, simmering away; another scene came to me today so there’s plenty to write.

It doesn’t help when Jake decides he’s not going to sleep well during the day. I’m just really glad that normally he sleeps well at night.

Tomorrow is another day, and hopefully one with time to write.

Yay for sunshine

and for feeling good. I had a good nights sleep cos Dale did the night feed, and he’s looking after Jake today, so I’m getting a break and a chance to get on with stuff like washing. It’s certainly one big advantage to bottle feeding.

I went out for a “coffee” with a chick from my ante-natal class yesterday. It went really really good. I was pretty nervous cos we hadn’t actually talked at the class. I have talked heaps to her mum, cos she works at Baby Factory, and so she gave me her daughter’s cell number and vice versa, and now I have a new friend. lol. She’s keen to meet up once a week, and she’s a dancer and wants to get back into it, and I’ve always wanted to learn, so she’s gonna find a local class and we’re gonna go together, leaving our babies at home. Her little boy is almost as cute as Jake (she said Jake is nearly as cute as her boy. Bias still wins lol).

My little brother is coming over this afternoon and we’re gonna go pick up Jake’s cot. I can’t believe he’s ready to move into one already. I was hoping he’d stay in his bassinette for a couple more months, but I think he’ll be happier with more space.

I’ve still got heaps to get done today. I’ve got a hat for my neighbour to finally finish, and then I can get onto the one for Cassie’s new baby. I hope I’ve got lots of time to get knitting done, cos I don’t want the baby to arrive before I’ve sent it! (Pass that message on to your bump Cassie! )

Titles are the bane of my existance

I thought I would take a moment while Jake is still sleeping to blog a little. He hasn’t been sleeping well at all today. Between 8:30 and 4 I think he slept maybe a total of an hour here and there. So frustrating.

Went to Plunket. I’m doing a PEPE course for 6weeks to 1year. There were heaps of people there today compared to only 6 mums last week. It wasn’t fun. I didn’t feel like socialising and I’m the only one bottle feeding so when he decided he was hungry I felt really awkward. All the mums that were there last week understand why I gave up, but most of the women there today weren’t there last week, and while I’d like to think they weren’t judging me I still felt judged. Probably cos I still judge myself. I hate that I’m bottle feeding even though it’s so much better for both of us.

Anywho. Last week I got along really well with this chick Andi, so today I gave her my cell number so hopefully some kind of friendship can develop there, though I hardly got to speak to her today. I also got a text from one of the chicks that was at my anti-natal class this morning and we’re gonna catch up on Thurs at some point. I must remember to text her again and sort out a time and place. It’s nice to be finally making some friends here; it’s just so damned hard. I wonder if normal me that I don’t know is extroverted or introverted. I swing between the extremes, but was always told I was extroverted. But then I was also always told that I prefer things to be open to change and not set in stone, yet I actually prefer things to be fairly rigid and I hate being late and dislike people being late. One of the things I am having to examine is how much of how I am is actually me, and how much is me being what I was taught that I am. Does that even make sense?

I was perusing the forum over at KiwiWriters (I still haven’t made a decision re: to HalfNoC or not to HalfNoC, btw.) and found a link to this 750 words thing. I decided to give it a go as writing like that is just what I need and will no doubt provide some insight on my mind. We shall see how long it lasts.

And it’s June, already. That in itself is depressing. Officially winter. That I don’t mind so much, I prefer winter over summer, it’s just tricky when you have a baby and no car. Another couple of months and my brother can teach me to drive .

Speaking of little brother, he’s coming round for dinner tonight. God knows what we’ll be eating as I have nothing organised. Time to ring hubby and put in a supermarket order I think.

And Jake’s still sleeping!!! Thank goodness.

Irritable Much

That’s what I’ve been since Jake woke me this morning. For no reason at all. He slept another full night, and consequently so did I, but I woke up ready to snap at everyone and everything and lots of deep breathing didn’t really help. Neither did hubby telling me he’s gonna apply for new work. Anywhere is better than where he is, but did it have to be now? I’m really trying to be optimistic, and it’s not that hard considering everything. He’ll no doubt get better pay and work incentives than where he is now cos you can’t get much worse!

My little man, who is for the majority of the time perfect, is refusing to sleep. He’s exhausted and I’m exhausted. All I want is a cup of tea in peace and maybe a couple of panadol, but the former won’t happen ’til he sleeps and the latter won’t happen ’til I can drag my arse off the couch, lol. We bought his cot today, picking it up in the weekend. I can’t believe he’s already moving out of his bassinette. He’s 10weeks tomorrow! Where did the time go??

I’m considering signing up for HalfNoC over at KiwiWriters, but I’m not sure. I think it would be good for me to get a routine that includes daily writing instead of just going all manic and writing oodles in one day (hypomania, technically). We’ll see how I feel in the morning. Now is not the time for making month-changing decisions.

Tentative Blog Entry

I seem to have a tendency to start blogging and then give up after a while, and not necessarily a long while. So I’m making no promise to blog regularly, or to blog at all.

But, I wanted to give it another shot, because a lot has changed over the last few months.

For one, my son, Jake, was born in March. He’s now 9 weeks old and I’m finally starting to feel like I’m getting the hang of motherhood (just a little. Most of the time it still overwhelms me). For anyone out there who likes to oooh and ahhh over the details he was 7lb7 and 56cms long.

I’ve also just (2 days ago) started on a mood stabiliser to help manage my bipolar. We had to switch to bottle feeding Jake, and when we did he started feeding, sleeping and bring up wind much better and overall became a much happier baby. Suddenly I had no excuse for feeling crap all the time, and because I wasn’t breast feeding anymore the option was there to go on meds. So I have, but it’s too early to say what the effects are.

As for my writing, cos I should probably say something about that, well, I haven’t done a hang of a lot of it this year. Most of what I have done has been poetry, but today I finally had a good bout of prose writing. I have no idea what it is yet, but hopefully I will have the time and motivation to find out more tomorrow.

Well, I have a hungry little man to get fed.